Saturday, March 2, 2013

#25 - Singapore


How peculiar that one month after meeting a former resident and rather jovially critical fellow who resided for many years in Singapore I find myself on those very shores.

My first impression of the city state was a rather two faced one when the presentation of the strict values that dictate so much of its laws came quickly and rather squarely in conflict with the realities of a wealthy citizenry. The woman back at the office who booked my hotel had managed to put me smack dab in the midst of twenty-four hour eateries, late night karaoke clubs and street side beer vendors, that's right folks I was staying in the red light district.

To quote the football firebrand Mario Balloteli who's as likely to rally against racism as he is to get in a fist fight with his manager, “Why always me?” Well, what else was I to do but take a two am jaunt around the neighborhood to see my temporary neighborhood in its finest hour?

The whole of Singapore appeared to present itself in a very secular way, but this shabby looking neighborhood had a real and definite poor Muslim feel to it. Nearly every shop featured a crescent and star somewhere on its front and the meticulous manicuring and fastidiously cleaned buildings and streets I had seen on the way to my hotel had disappeared to make way for the grimy sky walks and dilapidated store fronts one would expect to see in the south side of Chicago or the Arab neighborhoods just off Las Ramblas.

I wouldn't call these people friendly but they were accommodating. At one point I found myself watching a football match surrounded by Singaporeans of every color when a trio of scantily clad ladies emerged from a doorway just beneath the television. It was at this point that I realized that the TV I was watching was placed directly above the domicile of these ladies of the night and that there must have existed some relationship between this all night coffee shop and the housing establishment that seemed to be a strictly ladies only club. I never saw a man either enter or leave through this entrance or in fact the building as a whole. And of course sure enough there was a collection of no less than a dozen women speaking with equal parts coy flirtatiousness and self assured salesmanship to a collection of men that came and went and grew and shrank but never seemed to outnumber the women. I don't mean to either glorify or belittle the people employed in the business of prostitution, only to show it as it appeared to my eyes. I woke four hours after I had laid down in my hotel bed and quickly departed for an embassy who's location I only vaguely understood. If last night was Singapore all stuble-faced and scruffy then this morning was Singapore clean shaven and ready for work.

Chinese new year decorations in a mall


Once the day had just begun to depart I ventured out again. I was determined to find a good watering hole and meet some locals, or at least be near them and observe. The previous night I had drank only one beer and then swore it was my first and last as its price was just over double the price I would have paid for the same beer back in Thailand and nearly ten times the price I pay for my usual swill. However, earlier in the day I sat myself in a coffee shop on the main drag in Singapore to do some work and found that I was paying just a couple bucks less for the coffee than I had for the beer I'd so prematurely sworn off the night before. So...as you could probably guess I ended up drinking Thai beer (it's the cheapest) and loving every minute of it.

The perfect meal...wait, where's the beer? Waiter!


So that evening I found myself eating and drinking and watching a “Celestial Classic Movie.” The subtitles were all very clear except that they kept saying heck this and heck that and I'm from heck and that monster's from heck and all of the sudden it occurred to me that you can't say the word hell (in English) on Singaporean television. You probably can't say it in Malay or Mandarin either but Japanese I suppose is ok as it didn't sound like there was any censorship of the Japanese in the movie. Overall the movie was a riot (even though I'm sure it was intended to be a thriller) as it came complete with a wooden body double for the heroine that was eaten by the demons and old school Japanese martial arts choreography for all the fight scenes. I'm sure Kurosawa rolls over in his grave every time anyone watches that movie.

The next day I picked up my passport and settled down in a coffee shop to do some more work when another thought occurred to me. I hadn't seen a single cop anywhere. No police cars, no police motorcycles, no signs marking police territory (as is very important to maintain corruption in Thailand) no bike cops, horse cops or cops walking the beat in the busy retail districts or shady red light districts. Where were the police? To quote a very sarcastic segment of an Omali Yeshitela speech (thank you Dead Prez) “...I can tell you well you know you've got to have the police, because if there were no police...uh look at what you'd be doing to yourselves, you'd be killing yourself if there were no police...” If I were to continue that quote it would say something along the line of police only become necessary where crime exists. Just for fun lets draw some parallels between Singapore and a city in the US, Chicago.

                                                                                  Singapore              Chitown

Population:                                                      4.5 million             2.7 million
Singapore is sixty percent bigger

Civilians per police staff:                                          360                    190
Chicago has nearly twice as many cops per civilian

Acronyms:                                                                     SPF                      CPD
Singapore has a cooler acronym

Budget in USD:                                                   1 billion               1.3 billion
Singapore's police budget is thirty percent smaller

Homicides in 2008:                                                     8                        513
Hmmmmm...no explanation needed.

In summary Singapore's combination of a social safety net and frighteningly strict punishments probably does a pretty sweet job of making sure that Singaporeans don't commit violent crime. For example you can get the death penalty for firing a gun, even if no one is injured. On a side note they also have been consistently listed as one of the most restrictive countries when it comes to freedom of speech.

There certainly is crime in Singapore it's just nothing that will get you killed...or hurt...or really anything. While I was in Singapore the big thing that was happening was that the government was up in arms because it had noticed a slight uptick in traffic accidents and people needed to start driving more courteously. I wonder if they shouldn't take a taxi ride in New York sometime and then re-evaluate the safety of their roads.

*                    *                    *

I began this blog post on the day of my arrival in Singapore (Feb 3rd) and have just now (Feb. 22nd) managed to pick it up again. I attribute this not to laziness nor lack of motivation but to my work. When I was working at the French restaurant in Oakland there were weekends when I would work a Friday night shift then a double on Saturday and a double on Sunday which amounts to about thirty-five or forty hours in a three day span. That was something that happened a couple times a year. With Binumi I've been consistently putting in ten hour days and this week in particular did fourteen hours on Saturday and then fourteen more on Monday. I've also performed in two performance art shows over the last couple weeks and before that was deeply embroiled in the process of creating Survival Games. I have no idea when I'll find the time to write to you all again and ponder the meaning of life because if the website doesn't kick off and become successful I'll be working my ass off trying to make it successful and if it does kick off and become successful I'll be working my ass of trying to keep up with the new demands that will come with success. Oh what a conundrum.


I'm not the only one whose busy though. Nana is directing an opera, creating and performing in a show slated for a series of performances in Italy in July and now spending her mornings trying to keep me and a host of other nutters at the website organized. Oh yeah, she also recently found out she's listed on IMDB.


2 comments:

  1. Loved your story about Singapore and your world. And, keeping busy probably suits you better than being bored. I would like you to include descriptions of the foods with which you taunt us via photos. Was the latest food-photo dish just various greens or did it have meat? If so, which kind? And, were those two red, skinny, serrano peppers lying on top? Love, Mother

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  2. I've never seen serrano's out here except at boutique places that specialize in imports. Those were bell peppers. AS for descriptions I'll do my best to include some descriptions in the future as it was a month ago that I ate that dish and I can't remember what exactly was in it.

    Thanks for reading.

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