Round 2!

 The second term has started with a flurry of unfortunate events and bad news, but the weather is really nice. That's right folks, the unrelenting heat of Bangkok has proven not so unrelenting. In fact, it was damn near brisk on the way to work this morning, and thank god there's finally work. After getting an additional five weeks off work and being advanced fifteen days pay the company and it's workers have jointly fucked the teachers finances for the remainder of the school year. Paying back those fifteen days isn't going to be pretty, this month in particular. I suppose there'll be lots of movie nights in with mama noodles (Thai for ramen) and definitely no christmas presents, not that I was actually considering getting any anyway.

I've got two new schools and one of them has a whole host of special kids, you remember what a special kid is in Thailand right? No they're not gifted, capable of lightning quick computations, smashing standardized test benchmarks or stringing together eloquent lines of poetry, these kids are dim. The school gets extra money for taking these kids on and so in an odd turn of events they get the privilege of being in the classroom with me, wait, did I just call that a privilege? What I mean to say is that out of all of the two thousand kids at this K through twelve school who've pined after proper English classes with a native English speaker these awkward looking, lovably affectionate, and disturbingly popular students get to attend out of the good graces of the government's compassionate subsidies.

We were playing charades to help the kids practice vocabulary like, taking photographs, feeding the fish, and skateboarding, when I announced that it was the last round. Everyone in the class started shouting out that Bank had to go. It was my second time teaching this class and since I teach 160 students at this school I hope that you'll forgive me for not knowing who Bank was at the time but I'll surely not forget him now. When Bank heard his name he covered his face with his hands and started rolling around like he was inebriated. I saw the student doing that but didn't realize it was Bank so I called Bank up to the front of the class, sure enough the seemingly drunk student got to his feet. Barrel legs and arms like cannons, if the smile on his face wasn't so completely infantile I would have been intimidated. Bank came up to the front of the class and stood facing the students as though he was going to teach a lesson. I came over to him and whispered into his ear “drinking,” one of the easiest of the vocabulary words. The Thai teacher came over and said it to him in Thai knowing he wouldn't know it. We backed away and the kids said the question phrase we'd been practicing, “What was he doing?” Bank raised one of his hands, to me it looked like he was holding a glass but it could have been a fishing rod or a box of fish food or any of a number of the other pieces of vocabulary to the other students who were not privy to my instructions. Then one of the students in the front row jumped up from his seat on the floor and pantomimed a cheers with Bank and Bank turned his invisible drinking vessel upside down above his head and started jumping from one foot to the other as he snorted incessantly. The students all began calling out drinking but Bank didn't stop until I put my hand on his shoulder. Then he went back to his seat on the floor as though he'd just woken up from a mid-afternoon nap, just the way he came up from his seat.

There is a definite kindness to the people of Thailand, the actual people of course, not the establishment or the government. The lack of critical thinking certainly deserves a lot of pontification but among the more beautiful things is that when walking through the crowded neighborhoods where families live in unimaginably close proximity and the streets are lined with beauty salons, convenience stores, and fruit markets one will see six and seven year olds walking through the streets on their way home from school without fear of any kind. To be feared in this town are the police, and the tourist areas. A friend came out of a bar well drunk and was stopped instantly by two police. They reached into his front pocket and pulled out some marijuana. It wasn't his but someone from the bar had planted it on him. The cops didn't even search him, they just pulled it right out of his front pocket and took him down to the jail. Originally they asked for a bribe worth about $3000 but when he told them he didn't have it then it was off to the cell with the other unfortunates. He was the only farang in the place and unlike the other detainees he was allowed to roam around between the cells and chat with whom ever he wanted. After two days in the police station and numerous visits attempting to negotiate an appropriate bribe he was finally sent to court where the lawyer and fines and of course a small bribe were all paid that almost equaled the amount originally asked for when he was stopped. The court case was of course a joke, a television with a judge skyped in on it and no witnesses presented or evidence asked for. A mandatory requirement for a visit in jail was that the visitors all bring a pack of cigarettes for each officer on duty. I was asked to donate my back pack and we all got some food, water, clothes and reading material together for him. He never saw it and it was all confiscated. The ordeal is all over but the mark that it has left is lasting, we've all heard the stories but we all now know the dirty little truth about the Bangkok police. I'm quite lucky I must say as there has been a law passed recently in Thailand that forbids anyone from making or agreeing with any anti-monarchy statements online. So much as liking an anti-monarchy statement on facebook can land you in prison. There is no such law regarding the police.

Among the other bad news about the beginnings of the new term was the flood. I had a dream last night that it was back and I waded through knee deep water that instantly appeared while I was on a night out. I of course, never had to wade through any water aside from the kitty pool in our apartment building which we use to play the most amazing game ever,  

Aqua Fives.

Aside from taking the opportunity of the floods to make this amazing game up I also went and did some volunteering.  We were making rafts, why?  I don't know.

The bamboo shoots before they've been fashioned into raft frames.   Some of my friends made the frames.

I of course chose to stick with the ladies and do the much more manly job of sewing the bags shut.  These bags were filled with empty water bottles with screw caps on them to make them float.

Here's a finished frame up on empty gas
cans waiting to have bags affixed to it.

And here's a finished raft.  I didn't go out on
the buses to deliver them but those of us
who did say that the rafts actually worked.
Don't worry, they also brought food, water
and bug spray.

Bangkok is definitely getting Christmas like, it's a bit odd to see in a Buddhist country but I suppose Christmas isn't really Christian anymore, even if that's what some people like to think.  All of the major malls here have Christmas decorations up and if they don't put them up they have happy new year decorations, everyone wants a piece of the economic pie that is December.  

Decorations outside my office.  There are even more up now, this was just the beginning.

Of course no back to school entry would be complete without a word or two about the children.  Here's a self portrait that one of my kids drew while we were learning about facial features, you know, eyes, nose, ears, mouth, all those parts that are completely indistinguishable in this picture.

Gam's self portrait

 Another of my students didn't wear his uniform on the first day of school, this little four year old wore his favorite t-shirt.

 And another lovely new student who's name I can only imagine is spawned by a certain popular rap star.

 This actually what Gam looks like, not what you expected from the self portrait eh?  I cannot tell you where her other sock went, she came to class wearing it and left without it.

Of course the beginning of the flood also heralded the end of my business English class and what a fun bunch they were.  Here's a few of them the day before our final exam.  The tall one next to me is actually wearing my glasses, not his own.  

As for now folks, that's all.  Good luck with your holidays, mine will probably be spent with some mama noodles and a movie and lord willing I'll be able to pay for my plane ticket back to Bangkok as it does look as though there's one more term in the cards for me here.  I love you all and I'll see you soon.